Darth Vader’s guide to black hat SEO

Posted on August 21, 2009

 

darth-vaderThe world of SEO is a mystical world that surrounds us, penetrates us and binds websites together. It’s not the crude matter of websites themselves, it’s what connects one website to another, what makes one website rank better than another.

Becoming an SEO takes years of training, dedication and above all, patience. There is no quick route to SEO, lest you stray down the path that leads to the dark side, the black hat of Darth Vader. Be warned, once you become a black hat SEO there is no turning back. You will be consumed by anger, hatred and spammy links and doorway pages. The sites that you touch will be forever consumed by the dark side, tainted by evil.

However, to defeat your enemy you must first understand it. With that we give you Darth Vader’s guide to black hat SEO, the dark side of Internet marketing.

Deception and lies are tools of the dark side

Young apprentice, in order to trick your victims into accessing your website you must trick Google into thinking that your website contains lots of text. You can do this by creating keyword rich doorway pages that are designed to be indexed by Google, so that Google thinks it’s offering useful pages to its users. When they access those pages they’ll be redirected to a page of your choosing, whether that’s the homepage, a product page or whether it’s a trap!

darth-vader-costumeCompassion is for the weak

If something has happened in the news that will cause people to search for it, no matter how macabre, you should take advantage of it. Optimise for it, run PPC ads for it, Facebook ads, whatever it is. It doesn’t matter how relevant your content is because you’re a black hat SEO, and you’re in the business of trapping users to your website.

Your faith in your friends is your weakness

You can’t rely on your friends to link to your website. You need to take action yourself and buy links, hundreds of thousands of links. The more links the better, and it doesn’t matter what sort of websites you buy them from either. You can buy links from the most wretched hive of scum and villainy, even bounty hunters (scum). Every link draws you closer to your ultimate destiny.

Your commanders are expendable, just like domain names

Being a black hat SEO means you’ll burn through domain names very quickly. As Google bans one domain name, you should have another on hand to replace it within seconds. Keep them coming, there’s plenty more where they came from. Just destroy them with a quick choke hold after they’ve disappointed you for the last time.

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I am your father

A truly devious black hat SEO has roots within good, and those roots should be exploited. If you have high ranking websites with quality back links, use them to build your own army. The more quality websites you have that are hiding in plain site, the easier you’ll be able to crush your enemies with one swift stroke.

Join me; together we can rule the galaxy…

To become an all powerful Dark Lord you need to have an apprentice. The more people you have doing your dirty work for you, the less likely you’ll be found out. Enlist an apprentice and train him in the dark side, but watch him closely as he cannot be trusted.

Lord Darth Vader knows black hat SEO and the dark side. He uses the Force to manipulate Google rankings, but ultimately he will come good, it has been predicted.

You may ask yourself if the dark side of SEO is stronger. No, no, no… but it is quicker, more seductive, and more likely to get you banned by Google.

This guide to black hat SEO is meant as a warning of what to look out for, for if you find yourself straying down the dark side, forever will it guide your destiny.

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6 Comments »

  1. Hi Carl !!!.Though Black hat SEO is not always necessary but still it sometimes becomes a necessary evil.Nice pure Black hat ideas from your side.

    Comment by SEO Tips — August 22, 2009 @ 10:42 am

  2. Nice article. Nice to see the dark side’s perspective for a change.

    I’d be careful if I were you, though. Strike black hat SEO down and it will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

    Comment by Tom Haczewski — August 23, 2009 @ 7:00 pm

  3. Black hat SEO is so 2002. It’s easier to do it properly now.

    Comment by Open source web — September 8, 2009 @ 6:54 pm

  4. […] is a good question. Google asks that because a great many SEO companies do engage in unethical black hat methods, methods that could be the reason for your website to be banned from the index. However, SEO by its […]

    Pingback by Is SEO ethical? — September 9, 2009 @ 7:50 am

  5. […] about how The A-Team would perform SEO on your website, and guarded you against the dark side with Darth Vader’s guide to black hat SEO; but how would the Transformers SEO your […]

    Pingback by How would the Transformers SEO your website? — October 2, 2009 @ 4:21 pm

  6. You know sometimes Black hat SEO can backfire so why use them.Instead be patient and use white hat SEO.

    Comment by reverse search — November 9, 2009 @ 11:25 am

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