Chuck Norris SEO Facts

Posted on May 28, 2010


Everyone knows who Chuck Norris is – he’s the hardest man in the world and laws of nature bend to his will. According to many Chuck Norris facts websites, Chuck was responsible for the Big Bang that created the universe, Chuck is the second biggest killer in the US, behind heart disease and when Chuck falls in the river he doesn’t get wet, the river gets Chuck Norris.

But what about Chuck Norris and SEO? Obviously Chuck is a master at it, and here are some bona fide, genuine, 100% accurate Chuck Norris SEO facts that we’ve just made up. These seven facts may also help to explain some common SEO questions.

  1. In 2006 Google had indexed as many as 25 billion web pages – Chuck Norris indexes twice that before breakfast.
  2. Google updates its PageRank when Chuck Norris tells it to.
  3. The most important ranking factors, in reverse order, are 3 – links, 2 – content, 1 – whether Chuck Norris likes your website or not.
  4. When Google first launched, ranked #1 for every search term – but Chuck gave Google special permission to filter the results out of fairness to everyone else.
  5. Every time the name ‘Chuck Norris’ is Googled, somebody somewhere gets roundhouse kicked in the face.
  6. The Internet is all stored digitally on Chuck Norris’ left eyeball, and the entire net goes down every time Chuck blinks… Chuck Norris never, ever blinks.
  7. The average Google search takes around 0.17 seconds – enough time for Chuck Norris to deliver a roundhouse kick to the face of every person in China – which incidentally is the real reason Google is pulling out.
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