In a surprise move, a House of Commons vote this morning has decreed that the UK’s membership of the European Union will be put into the hands of the British public once more, but this time they will be spared the hassle of even visiting the polling stations.
With Parliament admitting that Brexit is currently at a loggerheads, it has come up with a novel, social media approach to giving the public the final say. For one day only, everyone in the UK will get to cast their vote on whether their country should leave or remain in the EU, by tweeting one of two hashtags on social media site Twitter.
To give this modern form of voting a tinge of nostalgia, the hashtags in question will each relate to 1990s music. Those who would like the UK to retain its EU membership are asked to tweet #StayAnotherDay, or share a video of the 1994 East 17 hit on Twitter in order for their vote to count twice.
Meanwhile, those who want Britain to leave can use the hashtag #TimeToSayGoodbye, with their vote counting double if their tweet contains the video for the operatic Italian/English duet by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman, which was a surprise top 10 hit in 1996.
The motion was tabled by Oli Pralof, MP for Foolsworth & Japesville, who argued that the nation is bored of the Brexit saga and that it was time to introduce some technology and popular culture into what has become a drawn-out affair. Against expectations, it passed by a narrow margin of 303-301 in favour.
There were heated exchanges in the House of Commons this morning, with one key Remainer saying:
“Oh don’t leave me alone like this, don’t you say it’s the final kiss, won’t you stay another day?”
His question was countered by a Brexiteer, who replied:
“Con te partiro, time to say goodbye.”
Twitter users have until midnight tonight to cast their vote, with hashtags and video shares to be totted up overnight and a result announced tomorrow morning.
The vote will be final, and should ‘Time To Say Goodbye’ be the winner, Britain will leave the EU this Friday. This would likely see the song at the top of the new week’s UK music charts on the same day, and the Vote Leave campaign has confirmed that a victory will prompt the song to be blared out at full volume from the White Cliffs of Dover, with vocals performed by prominent Leave campaigners Boris Johnson and Nigel Farage.
So, which will you be tweeting today?
EDIT: As if Brexit was ever going to be sorted that quickly and easily! This one was an April Fool, of course.