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How would the Transformers SEO your website?

Posted on October 2, 2009

We’ve written recently about how The A-Team would perform SEO on your website, and guarded you against the dark side with Darth Vader’s guide to black hat SEO; but how would the Transformers SEO your website?

The Transformers have been around for over twenty five years and have existed in toys, comics, cartoon shows and now two successful movies by Michael Bay, but their SEO exploits haven’t been talked about that much of late. This is a shame, because SEO is what brings Optimus Prime and his Autobots together with Megatron and the Decepticons in pursuit of a common goal; the promotion of websites.

So just what would the Transformers do to SEO your website, and which Transformers would be involved?

optimus primeOptimus prime
Optimus is a natural leader, and an excellent strategist, but above all else, has a very high set of morals. Prime would never harm any human life, destroy something of natural beauty or perform any unethical, black hat SEO. You can feel safe in the knowledge that Optimus Prime is handling your search engine optimisation campaign because you know that Prime will do the right thing, and he’ll battle ‘til the end for your website.

Optimus Prime has a healthy respect for life and for Google’s TOS!

Jazz-boxartJazz
Jazz is as cool as they come and has a certain style with everything he does; in fact, that’s his motto: “Do it with style, or don’t bother doing it”. With Jazz writing content on your website you’re sure to attract a loyal userbase of visitors who all want to know what you’ve been up to and they will keep coming back to your website time and time again.

Jazz will write quality content for your website that oozes style and substance, which is both great for your SEO and for your visitors. Jazz knows how to please an audience!

soundwave_toySoundwave
Soundwave is into communications in a big way. He’s good at networking, making connections and even sometimes disrupting the connections of others. Soundwave is definitely the one to work on a link building campaign because he can infiltrate and deceive to the point that websites will be falling over themselves to link to your website. Soundwave also has the advantage of recording all of his conversations, so you know there will be no mix-ups when you brief him on a project.

Did we mention he can also read minds? That comes in useful when negotiating for and finding links.

starscreamStarscream
When your SEO campaign needs that extra cutting edge, Starscream can provide it. Starscream may be all out for himself, but his success is your success, and sometimes you need a maverick working on your SEO to go that extra mile and take the chances that many SEO companies wouldn’t take.

For example, if you need someone to crate a buzz online with some contentious content and websites, Starscream is the one to handle it. He’s an expert at drawing attention to himself, which is an invaluable skill in Internet marketing.

Starscream will hit the forums, the social netwoking websites and the social bookmarking sites in the name of your website.

grimlockGrimlock
No SEO campaign can be complete without input from Grimlock. Where many SEO professionals may beat around the bush with regards to strategy and advice on changing your website, Grimlock will give it to you straight. He won’t sugar coat the advice or wrap it up in metaphor, if your website needs rebuilding from the ground up he’ll tell you.

If you’re wondering where Megatron fits in on this list, don’t. You can’t trust Megatron to SEO your website. Are you crazy?

Carl Hopkinson

Posted by Carl Hopkinson

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